Ok. I’m not sure exactly what your situation is, but let me say this:
God has to be in it for it to truly work.
You need to ask yourself, “Am I trying to force this?”
It is like doing a puzzle. You know if the piece fits or not. You know that you can’t force a piece to fit that wasn’t designed to fit. But when you find a piece that does fit it is so clear, because it just fits.
I think back to my early twenties when I was as single as a fire hydrant. It was a season where the desire to meet a godly girl and get married was strong. There were a couple of relationships where I tried everything to make it work on my own, but it just wouldn’t work. The chemistry wasn’t right, or the expectations were off, or the timing was out of sync or the level of interest was lopsided one way or the other. You get the picture.
The more I tried to make it to work the more clear it became that I was pushing this in my flesh and the LORD wasn’t in it (Of course He in His grace still used this process to help prepare me for the one He had store).
Then Debbie came into my life. We had to work hard, but never had to force anything in developing a growing friendship. It was desired by both of us to place the Lord Jesus as the centerpiece of our relationship.
Instead of asking the question of “How can I make this relationship work?” it changed and became “How can we not make it work?”
It became clear that the LORD was in it. It wasn’t just me scheming and toiling to force things to work. He aligned all the details and addressed the normal fears and challenges any young couple faces as they move toward marriage. The LORD was the one at work to make things snap together in a way that naturally fit.
I am not advocating laziness or passivity when it comes to important life matters, but sometimes we get in a mode of working so hard to make things work we forget that ultimately we have to depend on the LORD to work on our behalf according to His will.
Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain. In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat – for he grants sleep to those he loves. ~ Psalm 127:1-2
Tom Constable shared some penetrating thoughts in reflection on Psalm 127:1-2:
“Trust in God yields domestic benefits that hard work alone cannot provide…It is foolish, frustrating and futile to attempt projects without seeking God’s blessings… Putting in long hours to work hard will only lead to weariness. Conversely those who trust in the Lord, His beloved, experience rest.”